Happiness, Heartbreak, and How you can Help.

Its taken me awhile to sit down and write this entry. I've been feeling a range of emotions and just haven't known exactly what to say. But I'm going to try.

On August 16, Will, Heidi, Bryan, Asara, and I loaded up the car and headed out to Eesterust. We were there to cheer on the Buffalo Boys, the soccer team that we support in Maria's township. After their game, we were doing a braii (read: cookout) for them.

We headed to the soccer field, a patch of dirt with two posts on either end to mark the goals. The field was full of boys in AYSO jerseys (donated from someone back home). I was so happy to see these boys smiling, laughing, and playing soccer. At the same time, my heart broke that they were shoeless and without protective gear (shin guards, socks, padding for the goalie). They played in dirt rather than on grass. When their ball went out of bounds, it went into the street.

We cheered the Buffalo Boys to victory that day. Yay! They returned to Maria's house where we grilled up a feast and popped popcorn. The little girls from Christmas were happy to see me again and we played and played. The Buffalo Boys loved taking "jumping pictures" where I would say "1, 2, 3" and then they'd jump and I'd snap the shot. Then they insisted on taking individual photos. Did I mention that they also wore their jerseys backward the entire time?

It was so fun - I really had the best day hanging out with these wonderful children.

Asara is getting held by the cute girls and boys!

Towards the end of the afternoon, Maria introducted me to two boys. One boy, Thabang, had appendicitis and got his appendix removed. I asked to see his scar, which essentially looked like a Frankenstein wound - all jagged, swollen, and awful looking. Thabang said he still felt pain from his wound and I could see why. I asked him how I could help him and he said, "Madame, I am happy. I do not need anything." I look at Maria, look back at him and gently say, "No really... how can I help you?" The same answer. I look back to Maria and say, "How can I help?"

It turns out he has no food to eat. Maria feeds him what she can but he is an orphan and has no one to depend on. Every day I bring something to work for Heidi to give to Maria so Thabang can have something to eat. I bought a big thing of peanut butter and a big thing of jelly and so I buy loaves of bread (have I ever mentioned that a loaf of brown bread costs less than $1 here???) and bring them to her throughout the week so he can have sandwiches.

And here's where I say: if you were literally starving and someone asked you how they could help you, would you be able to smile at them and say you are fine?

And my heart broke.

Maria then introduced me to Nico. Nico was the soccer team star - he has amazing skills on the field. He's a shy boy and wouldn't look me in the eye. I asked him about the soccer team and then asked him if I could help him in any way. The same answer, "Madame, I am fine. Thank you for asking." I look at Maria and back at this boy, who I can tell has pain in his heart. I ask him again - "Madame, I am fine." I look back at Maria, she speaks to him in Sesotho, and then he looks at me and back down again.

"School."

I look at Maria and she explains that he has no uniform to go to school. He needs the uniform and he needs shoes. I tell Maria - no problem. Will and I can buy him what he needs - just tell me how. Nico lights up at the news and thanks me profusely, as much as a shy boy can do.

And here's where I say: if you were literally growing out of your clothes and had no shoes for your feet and someone asked to help you, would you be able to smile at them and say you are fine?

And so my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

I have mentioned this before, but Maria is an AMAZING woman who cares so much for her town. She has saved and saved and saved and has finally saved enough purchase land to build an orphanage for all the children in her town. That afternoon, we went to see the lot of land to take measurements and see what work is cut out for us.

On the way back, we stopped by Nico's house.

And my heart broke into a million pieces.

Nico's "home" is a crumbling cement building that was never finished. Weeds grow inside the walls. Its incredibly unsafe. There is one area in which they dragged some scrap metal and they have made a roof, but his home is weeds, dirt, trash, and crumbling cement bricks. On the ground laid his gugu (grandma), who had swollen legs and was coughing up something awful. On the ground beside her were two little girls coated in flies as they played in the dirt. Nico's mother happened to be home - apparently she leaves him for months at a time so Nico is primarily cared for by his gugu, who is obviously very ill. Maria tells Nico's mother how we will help him and she weeps. In my life, I've never seen someone cry like that over someone else's offer to help. I asked her not to cry and hugged her, but I think that made it worse. She just wept and wept.

And my heart broke into a billion pieces.

I left Eesterust that day with a pain in my heart that I have never felt before. It was a day that changed my life forever. I left that day knowing that I must do everything I can to help leave this beautiful community a better place than I found it. When I had met these children before, I had no idea that these were the conditions that they lived in. I noticed the children had holes in their clothes and no shoes on their feet and that the ate like they had never eaten before, but it didn't sink in until I saw their homes how badly these children hurt.

I have to do everything I can to help this beautiful community that is so rich in love for one another but so poor in every other respect. I have to keep the soccer team going so that these boys have a bright spot in their otherwise dark lives. I have to build an orphanage to provide shelter and care for these children who have no one. I have to feed the hungry who would otherwise dig through the trash for scraps. I have to clothe the naked who can't go to school without the proper uniform. I have to use the gifts that God has given me to help in every way I can. I have to tell their story to anyone who will listen.

Immediate plans to assist Eesterust include hosting several fundraiser dinners to raise money to purchase shoes and shin guards for the Buffalo Boys. I think we can raise the $500 needed to take care of this need among our friends here in SA.

The orphanage? We're starting at ground zero with just the 5 of us (Maria, Heidi, Bryan, Will and I). We have to level the lot, build the space, and buy supplies. Wow. Maria wants the orphanage to have 5 rooms where the children can come for school tutoring, food, clothes, and a safe place to play and sleep. It will primarily be a day center, but for those children that have no where to sleep at night, they can stay there too. It will be 100% staffed by volunteers from the community.

This is a picture of part of the lot of the future orphanage.
Our work is cut out for us!

And so here it is: we are looking for ways to help Maria raise the money she needs to build the center. I am asking friends and family to seek donations for the construction of the building and initial start up items like beds, tables, and chairs. We estimate this to cost about $3,000. I know that purse strings are tight due to the recession so please know that any amount would be incredibly appreciated. Remember how I said $1 would buy a loaf of bread? $1 can buy at least 3 bricks for the building. $10 can buy 30 bricks. $25 can buy 75 bricks. As you can see, a little goes a long way. Even if you donate the change you have in your pocket or purse right now, you will make a change with change. Maybe you have a jar full of change you've been collecting - here's your chance to make change with change!

Heidi's mother has donated a quilt she made and we have decided to raffle it off. Any person donating $10 or more will be given a chance to win the quilt. We will inform the lucky winner at the end of September. We have set up a paypal account so people can pay either from their bank account or with a credit card. https://www.paypal.com/ (click on send money). The email address is bdestro@yahoo.com. We are working on getting a website made to show how much money we raise for this incredible cause! Stay tuned...

The quilt that will be raffled off! Beautiful!

I hope you will consider making a donation today. Even $1 will get us one step closer to getting this orphanage constructed.

We are also accepting donations of supplies and goods if you feel more comfortable donating supplies than money. Please leave your email address in the comments field of this entry and I will get in touch with you. Maybe you want to help the soccer team and have used soccer equipment, practice jerseys, cones, etc. that you could send to South Africa. Or perhaps you know a furniture store that would agree to send mattresses and beds overseas for the orphanage. Maybe you know someone willing to come here and provide medical services, such as dental care or basic health care services. Maybe you know a clothing store that needs a charity to cast off clothes to. Maybe you have old children's books that you don't know what to do with - truly, anything can and will help.

From Eesterust, we thank you for your support!
Picture above: Bryan, Maria, Will, and Valerie at the site of the future orphange
(the scrap metal building behind us will be knocked down)

See more on life with Maria by clicking on the "Maria" label at the bottom of this post.

long weekends = my fave.

This weekend we celebrated Women's Day, which gave us Monday off from work. The long weekend was just fantastic.

On Friday, Will and I avoided mass chaos at the Embassy and didn't stick around for 5+ hours to see Sec. Clinton. Instead, after a busy week at work, we went home and made fantastic burgers and fries and got the complete scoop from our friends that did brave the chaos and saw Sec. Clinton and the new Ambassador to SA. An easy peasy low key night in = good times.

Saturday we hosted a party for the entire CDC-SA office and had the best time! We cooked warthog sausages, hamburgers, and fantastic grilled chicken legs (Will marinated them for hours and then basted with a butter/Texas Pete glaze = SPICY HEAVEN!). Folks enjoyed a lovely spring day in the sunshine - kids ran around our yard, Sanford was petted more than he has been in several years, and we just enjoyed a lazy day. I'm happy to have hosted my first grown-up party where kids of all ages and adults had a fantastic time and nothing got broken! Yay! After that, we headed to Tim and Rilla's for homemade chorizo and fun times with friends. It was a perfect Saturday.

Sunday we slept in. Bliss. I got online and realized that I somehow had ordered a $600 Gucci watch that I had been looking at on Amazon.com (it wasn't even one that I wanted!) and am thankful that the good folks at Amazon were able to recall the package before it got all the way to SA. Yay! I sat outside with the dogs for a good part of the afternoon, reading my book and looking through cookbooks to decide on the week's menu for me and Will (for the record, I'm trying beer enchiladas made with this meat sauce, lasagna roll-ups with meat sauce, and salad with crispy yogurt chicken). We went grocery shopping. We watched three movies (Gran Torino, Yes Man, and the International). A perfect low-key lazy Sunday. And most importantly, I made this for dinner.

I think this meal changed my life. I love patty melts. I do. Something about crunchy buttery bread, gooey cheese, and cooked onions makes me ridiculously happy. Its not something I eat often for health reasons, but oh man, I love them. Obviously, patty melts are not common in South Africa (nor do I imagine they'd be good anyway if I bought one at a restaurant). Cube steak is super cheap here (i.e. about $1/pound) and I happened to have some in the freezer. I found some small deli-type buns, which I thought would be good for portion control and not make a huge portion as seen on the website link above. Most importantly, I decided to buy some provolone cheese to melt on these bad boys. At the end, I put the bottom piece of bread on the cast iron skillet I had buttered the bread in and then put the meat on top and then layered thinly sliced provolone on top of that. I cooked it in the oven to get all melty and voila! Excellent sandwiches.

Yum. Absolute heavenly yum. Definitely try this recipe as its cheap and heavenly and will make the man in your life smile (and ignore the fact that this sandwich requires you to work out). Next time I may add mushrooms and bell peppers to the onions to make it similar to a philly cheesesteak (yet another menu item not found in SA).

Yesterday was another day just spent in the warm sunshine with friends. Hooray for what looks like the end of winter!!! We played tailgate golf, which is quite an interesting game that I'm terrible at. Will and I played Trivial Pursuit yet again and I am happy to report that we won. We love TP. Its true.

excellent weekend!

What a fantastic weekend! What did we do? Nothing too crazy exciting, but it was just good times spent with fabulous friends.

Friday night we headed to Beth & Adam's for take out pizza and Trivial Pursuit on the Wii. The ladies beat the gents (hooray!) but I can't say it was a victory to be too proud of. Its difficult to play on the Wii and is super easy to select the wrong answer by accident. Regardless, it was super fun and a perfect way to spend a Friday evening after a busy week.

Saturday Will and I woke up to rain! I can't remember the last time we've had a rainy day in South Africa, but it was dark, humid, and stormy. We met Beth for lunch at a cute place called Isabella's - yummy. Its a cafe with homemade food, namely salads, casseroles, and quiche. Afterwards, I picked up take out from Geet, where they were so happy to see me, they gave me a free bottle of wine. I love South Africa!

Saturday night we celebrated our friend Atalie's birthday with a girls night in at our friend Rilla's. We had spanish tapas and made terrific Thai basil spring rolls with peanut sauce. I must say - they were pretty freakin' fantastic. We also made homemade naan to go with our takeout indian food. We watched E! and had loads of girl talk. The best part? Will was a fantastic hubby who drove all the girls around so no one had to drive and to ensure everyone made it home safe since their husbands were out of the country.

Today has been fantastic. I slept in, which is always a plus. Will and I went grocery shopping for the week and found cherry coke and Dr. Pepper! YAY! We got McDonald's (I love a quarter pounder with cheese). I sat outside in the sunshine and threw the ball for Muddy in the pool while reading The Six Wives of Henry VIII (so good!). I matched up mismatched socks. I made homemade manicotti and beef stroganoff and my lunch for the week since I have to work late every day this week. I watched tons of episodes of The Wire Season 2. Its just been a deliciously lazy day, which is what I need before a hectic week!

one year.

One year ago today, Will and I said goodbye to the US and hello to South Africa. It seems like we've been here for much longer than a year and I think our families and friends back home would agree.

During the past year, I've traveled to 10 different countries, none of them being the one of my citizenship (South Africa, Zambia, Uganda, Zimbabwe, Angola, Namibia, Botswana, Malawi, Ireland, England). I no longer cringe at flying, although I still give my customary two pats on the plane with my right hand when entering the plane (oh superstition...). I also fell head over heels in love with Cape Town.

I conquered major fears by completing a canopy zipline tour (and creating a permanent dent in my left shin in order to not pitch my husband off the side of a mountain) and whitewater rafting (in class 4 and 5 rapids, no less). Clearly, I survived.

I've learned it can get a lot colder in Africa than I ever thought (yes, 32 degrees farenheit!). I've learned that I can actually slap lotion on my skin and watch it immediately disappear due to living in a high altitude, super dry climate. I've learned that chlorine from the pool will bleach out your dog's hair.

I've realized that its not so bad living behind bars - I hardly notice them on my windows anymore. I still don't know why my hydrangeas died a cruel, ugly death in the yard while everything else thrives (seriously - I had 7 foot tall roses!).

I've added strange phrases to my vocabulary, such as "Izzit?" or "100%" or "Oh shame..." and can actually sound out the various African languages fairly well, even though I have no idea what I'm talking about. My math skills have increased tenfold from doing exchange rate calculations on a daily basis.

I no longer think it strange that people sing out loud in public. I've grown accustomed to life moving slow - traffic, queues, internet service, restaurant orders. I'm used to someone standing at every stop light asking for money, food, or clothes.

I still haven't seen an elephant in South Africa.

I still can't drive a stick shift car.

My eating habits have majorly changed. I enjoy game meat more than I enjoy chicken. I order almost all of my food spiced "hot" - which is super duper hot. I prefer my eggs over medium instead of scrambled. I've fallen in love with Boursin. I still think biltong is gross although I eat warthog cabanossi for breakfast almost every day. I think I need these in my life right about now but the lack of adobo sauce and wonton wrappers will prevent me from attaining this goal. I tell people I miss them more than I miss Chick-fil-a and I only hope they know me well enough to know that means I miss them a heckuva lot.

My lifestyle habits have changed. A night in with friends with takeout pizza and trivial pursuit is a great time indeed. My best weekends are those spent with friends at a cookout with nothing to do but enjoy each other's company (oh yeah, and of course some time devoted to playing in the pool with the dogs). I love dinners out on the town, but also love those nights where Will creates something super tasty and we watch numerous episodes of a TV show on DVD. I guess I've realized that it doesn't take a lot to make this lady happy.

I've been incredibly blessed to share this fantastic experience with Will. Through the ups and downs, we've realized that we have a great thing together. We've built an incredibly solid foundation for our marriage due to our experience here and we are so thankful to have yet another year to keep learning how to be the best spouse we can be for each other.

To put it simply, we love South Africa. One of my favorite songs by is "Africa" by Toto. In the chorus, they sing "We're gonna take some time and do the things we never have." I know that Will and I will always look back on this two year adventure with fond memories because we've done just that. We've taken two years and removed ourselves from our safety net back home and taken on this great adventure with so many unknowns. And its been awesome.

Not the best updater.

Sorry for the lack of updates - I really have no excuses. What have I been doing? Traveling, cooking, and working really.

Our 1st anniversary trip to Europe was absolutely amazing, despite me losing a disk with all our 1st anniversary photos on it (blast!). Ireland was insanely amazing and England was all that and a bag of chips. I was reunited with the Little Friend, her hubby Brian, and her parents in Ireland and we had the absolute best time. It was truly a fantastic vacation and I can't wait to visit both places again! We went so many great places and had such an amazing time - maybe one day I'll sit down and do a complete post about it.

In the mean time, there's this:

On top of Staigue Fort in County Kerry, Ireland

Climbing up the ridiculously small staircase at Blarney Castle in Cork

Have you ever seen two strangers so happy to take a picture with each other?
Me and a Yeoman Warder at the Tower of London

Oh yes, self photo time! Will, his fantastic gift of beard, me, and of course, Big Ben!
The lost disk of photos is filled with tons of self photo gems. BOO.

To update on June's food post...
(1) I've made chili con queso twice (thanks for the velveeta mom!), much to the delight of the Americans at post here in SA. I call it "Heaven on Earth" - and it really is. It really really is. YUM.

(2) I made the pasta alla vodka and linguine with chicken thighs. Both dishes were incredibly easy to make and inexpensive! The pasta alla vodka was a bit different than normal sauces I make - a teensy bit on the sweet side, but oh so good. I think next time I'll serve it was ravioli rather than just plain noodles. The linguine with chicken thighs was also superb - it made a ton of sauce! It was nice and light. I also added mushrooms to it because I just can't help myself.

(3) Why am I even posting today, of all days? Well, Will, being the fantastic hubby that he is, made something like this last night. We had a bunch of bell peppers in our fridge that were about to head south. He slapped those babies on the grill and charred them up. After he let them cool, he picked off the charred parts and put the rest in our food processor. Add some garlic and walnuts (yes, walnuts - not pine nuts), parmesan cheese, and presto - its pesto! Will tossed it with some egg noodles and it made a fantastic meatless Monday dish. I love recipes that use what you already have on hand to make something incredibly yummy!

(4) Completely unrelated to food, but noteworthy: Since its so cold outside, Will and I have been watching lots of tv shows on DVD. We're smack in the middle of Entourage, which we both really like. We recently finished Murder One and Damages - both shows were excellent! We're also caught up on Rescue Me and the beginning of The Closer.

Life is good.

Recipes to try when we get back!

Because when I'm bored and don't feel well, I like to look at recipes, specifically on this site...

Homemade Chicken Strips

Shrimp Risotto ...except I want to make mine tomato based... and SPICY!

Apple Tart - not that I'm the best baker or that I really love baked apples, but this looks tasty and fun...

Bread! I want to make bread in a dutch oven!

Chili con queso - because mom sent me velveeta and I have a crock pot ready to make something de-lish and terrible for you.

Strawberry Shortcake Cake - again, I need to be a better baker and this looks like a great one to try.

Homemade Pasta - because I haven't yet perfected my recipe...

And pasta sauces! This and this and this and and this and this (especially the last one)...

sick.

Will and I are sick. We've never been sick at the same time before and I've quickly realized how its no fun when you are both ill. Will has a sinus infection and I have no idea what I have (okay fine - I'm in denial about having a sinus infection too...) so we're both sniffling-sore throated-tired-red-nosed individuals.

Plus there's nothing worse than being sick on the weekend.

Despite our runny noses, we've had a fairly good weekend. Friday night we attended a trivia night at the British High Commission. Lucky them - they have a functioning party space on site! They had a cash bar, pasta dinner, and trivia with clues you could purchase with all proceeds going to a good cause. Adam, Beth, Will, and I made up the team known as "Blue and Gray" (much better than our original name of "Team America"). We came in last, primarily because we didn't know how to use the clues to double and triple our scores (we mainly got 8/10 on things) and after round 5 we really stopped caring. We got 6 boxes of antacids as a prize - woohoo. It was super fun, if a teensy bit long (10 rounds of 10 questions and starting at 7:30... yowsa).

Yesterday was the Super 14 Championship (i.e. rugby's equivalent to the Super Bowl). Pretoria's Blue Bulls were challenging the New Zealand Chiefs at home here in Pretoria so you can imagine how crazy the town was yesterday. We met up with friends at Cactus Creek, which has a great outdoor patio to watch the game (and blessedly this time had put in heat lamps since its so cold outside). The Blue Bulls killed the Chiefs - it was such an exciting game! I'm really enjoying watching rugby. Its no substitute for SEC football, but its fantastic to watch.

Today we're beginning the process of packing for Ireland & London. We have no idea what luggage restrictions there are for Lufthansa and BMI so we need to find out before we start hauling out luggage.

I am super stoked about our trip. We fly into Dublin, spend two nights there, and then head south to County Kerry where we're staying in Castle Cove (just south of Kenmare). We'll also overnight in Dingle and Kilkenny. Highlights include the Guinness Brewery, St. Francis Abbey (where they make Smithwick's), Mizen Head, Skelling Michael, Rock of Cashel, Blarney Castle... beyond that, we've just planned on seeing where the roads of Ireland take us.

London is much much MUCH more organized, primarily because we're only there for 4 nights. Its the 500th anniversary of Henry VIII's coronation so all the palaces and historical sites have special exhibits. We're definitely heading to the Tower of London, Hampton Court Palace, Kensington Palace, St. Paul's Cathedral, Tower Bridge, Westminster Abbey, the British Museum, the Courtald Gallery, the London Eye, and the National Gallery. Phew - that's a lot! And of course, we have to have high tea somewhere.

And as I told Will... if I see a taco bell or pizza hut while we're in London, we're stopping. YUM. Trashy American fast food!

If you have any tips or suggestions, let us know!